Am I heartless?

I ahve found that when it comes to dealing with death that I become disconnected and unemotional. I suppose it's my mechanism for not wanting to think about it. However, when I get into stressful situations I tend to shut down emotionally and only concern myself with those things that are within my control.

There are many people around me that are dealing with terminal illnesses, and I feel like I should be doing something about it. I am supportive and I'm available should they need me, do I need to be doing more? I don't even talk to my grandparents on oneside and both of them are dealing with matasticized lung cancer. I get all my updates and information through my mom and my sister, who live on the other side of the country. I live 30 miles away.

I have a couple of friends who are struggling with some personal issues right now, but it's not me, and I don't have a solution to their problem. I can't even empathize with them because I haven't even come close to experiencing anythin g like what they are going through. I am supportive and I'm available should they need me, do I need to be doing more?

I've been looking at other job options and I've applied to a few and have heard back from a couple. One is with an NPO that is doing some tough work in pseudo-stable nations helping them operate and improve their government based health care. I feel excited about the potential of working with this organization because I feel like I would be participating in something that is accomplishing something. But is it a workaround for what I should really be doing?