I ahve found that when it comes to dealing with death that I become disconnected and unemotional. I suppose it's my mechanism for not wanting to think about it. However, when I get into stressful situations I tend to shut down emotionally and only concern myself with those things that are within my control.
There are many people around me that are dealing with terminal illnesses, and I feel like I should be doing something about it. I am supportive and I'm available should they need me, do I need to be doing more? I don't even talk to my grandparents on oneside and both of them are dealing with matasticized lung cancer. I get all my updates and information through my mom and my sister, who live on the other side of the country. I live 30 miles away.
I have a couple of friends who are struggling with some personal issues right now, but it's not me, and I don't have a solution to their problem. I can't even empathize with them because I haven't even come close to experiencing anythin g like what they are going through. I am supportive and I'm available should they need me, do I need to be doing more?
I've been looking at other job options and I've applied to a few and have heard back from a couple. One is with an NPO that is doing some tough work in pseudo-stable nations helping them operate and improve their government based health care. I feel excited about the potential of working with this organization because I feel like I would be participating in something that is accomplishing something. But is it a workaround for what I should really be doing?
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Sometimes people just need someone to talk with about things other than what they're dealing with. Like your family members, maybe just call them up and chat about your kiddos and what they're doing. It might be tough at first to talk about other things when there's the looming issue around but it gets easier. Empathy can go a long way but it isn't needed to be there fully for someone. Ask them what would help them the most if you can't empathize with them and have an idea what would help. Their answers may surprise you. Taking a couple hours to go bowling or eat out may be just what they need, rather than someone trying to make them talk about it or share the feelings. Might mean you have to deal with your own disassociation issues but hey, that's all good right? ;)
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